Every person needs inspiration. That's me.
I want to be the girl that could brighten up everyones day when she couldn't brighten her own.
Oh boy.
I cleaned out my car and..well let me just tell you .6 pay stubs .3 guitar picks .2 pom poms .5 shirts .4 old sonic cups .1 bag of weird substance .12 cigarette butts . My dignity. I need to clean it more often.
The first time I tried a cigarette I felt bad. The first time I got wasted I felt bad. Like I was doing something wrong. That everyone would think I’m bad. I broke it off my good friends I dumped my boyfriend. Now all I ever do is go hang out with a group of guys in a warehouse or studio and get fucked up. I’m comfortably numb. I don’t want a future. I just want to have fun and be very young.
tumblr.
Tumblr is the only place where I can put my thoughts anymore. I don’t want to put anything on Facebook and I don’t want to tell anyone because I don’t want sympathy or pity. So the nights I can’t stop crying and nobody’s awake I tell tumblr just how much I feel like shit.
Just once.
I want everything to be okay. I want some one to tell me everything is fine. I want to have something go my way. I want to take my time. I’m tired of being sped up. I’m tired of being hurt. I’m tired of being fed up. I’m tired of being dirt. I’m ready for something new. I’m ready to leave this place. I’m ready to be with you. I’m ready to see your face. Its okay that I’ll be unstable Its okay that I’ll be unrealistic Its okay that I wont be able Its okay that I’ll be fiction. Everything I want and am tired of being. Everything I’m ready for and everything that’s okay. I’m young but I realize life’s been short. I still realize I am only human. <3
